leeyounger:

Fairest Of Ten Thousand #166

John 8:46

Why does God allow so much suffering if He’s so good? Why do good people sometimes have to endure so much pain and heartache if God supposedly loves them so much? These are the oldest questions in the book. Some folks have endured so much pain and…

Exactly what needs to be said after events like tonights

findstrength:

PLEASE REBLOG

 ”If anyone in the Cookeville, Tn. area see’s this girl, call the police immediately. Her name is Kirsten and she is 16, and was kidnapped from her home tonight.”

I think I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be genuinely joyful. I hurt so much for so long that I feel like I’ve convinced myself that I won’t ever be joyful again. I let expectations from myself and others pile so much stress on me for so long that I’ve forgotten what it feels like to feel. I mean, I’ve had times where the overwhelming numbness has receded, but it’s been there for years. Lingering. Stalking me. Telling me it’s easier to just go through the motions. I have so much knowledge in my head about what a satisfying, and fulfilling relationship with Jesus looks like, but I struggle to believe it in my heart. I’ve convinced myself it’s only for other people. Not me, just them. I’m ready to be through this. I’m tired of being so apathetic. Change my heart of stone into a heart that feels, God. I think deep inside I still don’t think Jesus loves me. How I let that lie creep in my head for so long without confronting it I don’t know, but I’m tired of letting it beat me. When God offered life abundantly he didn’t offer it to everyone besides me. A relationship with Jesus isn’t this tortuous, self-degrading path of failure to live up to standards. It’s a fulfilling, satisfying, joyous adventure with the one person who fully knows and loves me. Time to start opening my heart so God can help me believe that, cause I sure as heck don’t believe it on my own.